Wir Sind Zusammen
by mickeyroonski
Summary: Short fic where Webster has an anxiety attack in Nuenen. Liebgott and the others rally around him.


There were sharp piercing bullets to his left. Dick Winters was commanding Easy Company to his right. The bright sun blinded David Webster, sapping his strength and bringing dew to his brow. Everything went light, and David couldn't hear a thing. There was only buzzing, like the sound of summer bugs in the south had suddenly decided to take up residence in his brain.

Stuck in a ditch just outside Nuenen, David couldn't make his hands reload his gun fast enough. They slipped and stumbled around, his fingers flimsy and useless. He was making small frustrated noises. Bullets continued to whizz by him while the rest of Easy moved up over the ditch and into the town. Explosions rang overhead by Webster didn't hear them. When at last his gun was ready to go, it took Webster several seconds to build up the strength to jump out of the ditch. The rest of his men had gone ahead. He idly wondered if he had been yelled at. It was as if the entire world around him had been blacked out for a second, drowned out by the blistering sun overhead. When David stood up his whole body went wobbly for a second, but he strode on, looking for familiar bodies flanking the right side of the town.

"Medic!" There was a terrified shriek for Eugene Roe, who came barreling out of a ruined building the second he heard the scream. David watched him go by in slow motion, debris falling and hitting him, dust flying in his face as his slide down beside a wounded soldier. David trod away from him, desperately trying to remember how to fight in a war. The buzzing in his ears grew louder, and he wondered if everyone could hear it. Maybe it was a new type of German weapon. Nobody else seemed to be going deaf like he surely was.

When David ran to stand next to Joe Toye and Dick Winters, he knew they were talking to him. He could see their lips moving rapidly, their hands a dance of signals that Webster's brain couldn't piece together. His hands clung rigidly to his gun as he blinked, willingly his ears to hear something, anything. But nothing happened. His heart was beating so fast and hard he was afraid it would crack his ribs. He couldn't seem to catch his breath. One second it came rushing in and the next it was gone, escaping his ragged lungs before his body could register he'd even taken a breath. Sliding down the side of a building with Toye still yelling at him, Webster kept his eyes on a sign readying _Neunen._ It was a white sign with black lettering. There was a piece missing from the corner, but other than that, you could hardly tell of the carnage happening in the town. It was as if he put blinders on, lifting the sagging war from the sign, only seeing a bright Dutch town in the countryside. David started to welcome the buzzing in his ears, the beating of his heart. He hoped his ribs would break under the pressure, snap and bruise his skin into blackness.

David looked over, and saw Toye talking with Winters, pointing back to Web. He recognized he was terrified of what they were saying, but he couldn't make his body move. It was like some German had shot him in the spine, paralyzing him, sticking him into the dirt and blood of Nuenen. Eventually David closed his eyes, unable to take the unwavering gaze of Dick Winters.

"Webster!" A disembodied voice was above David, hovering like a constellation in the blackness of his mind. "Webster, hey, look at me! Open your eyes private!" There was soft slap to the side of David's head, and his blue eyes snapped open.

"Vincent Van Gogh was born in Nuenen." David stilled at his words. Hadn't he already told the guys that earlier? He looked up, confused. Dick Winters was crouched besides him, Lew Nixon was smoking, standing right by Dick, as usual. Roe looked worried and exchanged glances with Liebgott, who didn't really look like anything.

"Mornin' sunshine!" Lew pulled David unsteadily to his feet. David realized the battle was over. He had missed the whole thing. He must've blacked out.

"Tell me again why I even bothered to join the army." Webster looked down shamefully. Roe just rolled his eyes and walked away. Lew chuckled and Dick gave him a sharp look.

"It happens to the best of us," Dick put his hand on David's shoulder. "You have to be more careful. If you're going to pass out, try not to do it where the enemy is shooting at us." Dick gave him a sympathetic look. Lew offered him some water. Liebgott still hadn't said anything.

"Any casualties?" David looked around. Buildings were smoking and he could still hear bullets bouncing off the ground. His heart started to beat slightly faster.

"We're still moving out," Liebgott piped up. "Retreating. We better not stay here long." Lieb looked around, shifting from foot to foot.

"He's right. Lieb, you make sure he gets to a truck," Lieb nodded and went towards David. "Lew, come with me." Lew and Dick headed off towards to outskirts of town.

David and Liebgott bounded around buildings, trying to make it back to the ditch where David had helplessly tried to reload his gun. Just beyond were trucks retreating from mortars, shrapnel, and bullets. When a huge explosion sounded behind them, a strangled sound echoed from David's throat, and he broke out in a fresh sweat.

"Web, hey, let's go we're almost there." David looked at Joe, his eyes a dark blue, full of terror. His boots felt like they were made of lead. "David." Joe put his hands on either side of Web's face. Joe made deep dramatic breaths, in and out, nodding for David to follow his lead. Joe took tiny steps backward, not letting David take his eyes off him until they had managed to bump into the backside of a truck. Lieb gently pushed Web up, helping him into the bed of the truck and onto the wood bench. The terror had barely quelled, and with every boom and hiss of enemy artillery, it roared back into Web, seizing his muscles and making him shudder. Joe sat next to him, his hand brushing Web's every so often. He turned Web's head towards him, not letting him see the dead soldiers on the ground, the blood spattered on trees and faces of men running away from death.

David fought very hard to breath, to remember where he was, and what he was doing. He gazed at Joe, his friend who had lead him out of the burning city. Joe's eyes were heavily lidded like he hadn't sleep in a week, and he had a cut on the side of his face which was oozing blood. He looked calm; the opposite of David.

When David's breathing would become uneven, when tears threatened to roll down his dirty cheeks, Joe would put his arm around Web, sighing, "Shhh. Shh. It's over." David couldn't help but weep. He knew he was weak. When David told him as much, Lieb simply said, "You're a good soldier." David cried more then, and Lieb let him because he understood.

Back at HQ, Webster let his mind succumb to a fog that seemed omnipresent since the beginning of Nuenen. He let Lieb drag him to the first available bed and take off his gloves, jacket, and boots. He was lowered into the hard bed, the blanket carefully slid over him. He was out like a light.

"Gene." Lieb had gone straight from Web's bed to Gene, who was counting his medical inventory. Gene looked up, not surprised to see him.

"It's called an anxiety attack, Lieb. Not a whole lot I can do about it." Roe felt bad, he did, but Web had never tried to help himself, and he had to make sure he tended to the dying, not the terrified.

"Anxiety attack?"

"Body tenses up, heartbeat accelerates, there's sweating, nervousness," Roe stood up. "Acute anxiety. You can't think, you can breathe; at the same time, you're worrying your brains away."

"Well how did it happen? Did this anxiety just spring out of thin air?" Webster had never frozen in battle before.

"Haven't you ever noticed the way Web is? He's nervous, impulsive then immediately regretful?"

"Yes."

"That's his mind trying to fight anxiety. Then it recoils," Roe grimaced. "When people yell at him, he curls away from it," A pause. "It's not because he's rebelling against it. He's probably been yelled and prodded at so much that it's a natural defense to shy away from verbal conflict. His mind is swimming in anxiety when voices are raised or there are loud noises around. It's a trigger, no doubt."

"But why now?"

"He finally snapped. You can't keep that in forever; it's too suffocating."

Lieb looked like he was going to be sick. "What should we do?" Roe looked at Joe then, he noticed the bags under eyes, but saw a fire in his eyes.

"Just," Roe thought. "Watch over him the best you can. Be kind and speak softly. He needs one person he can count on to never judge him."

"No one here judges him. We're a team." Lieb looked angry.

"Everyone knows that, but does he?" Roe walked Lieb out of the medical tent. "It's all I can recommend."

Lieb sighed. "Thanks Gene." Roe nodded, trouble taking hold of his mind.

"Oh, and Joe?" Roe bit his lip. "Tell Dick. He has a soft touch." Roe lowered his voice. "I know Lew has dealt with the same kind of thing. Dick will know what to do."

In the morning David woke up with a massive headache. He had tossed and turned all night. He had dreamt of home. His parents had been yelling at him, but David couldn't understand what they were saying. He woke in the middle of the night to Joe softly whispering to him. He couldn't remember what he had said, but it had gotten him back to sleep.

Outside men were running around, fulfilling orders and packing up to go to wherever they were needed next. David was slow to get up, and no one seemed to be bothering him. He changed into a fresh pair of fatigues and got himself a meager ration of breakfast.

Deep down, David knew what had happened to him. There had been other incidents back home where he had blacked out. There were long stretches of time where he was strung out, worried about everything he did, and terrified of people around him. When he had gone through basic training his brain was put on auto pilot. He didn't have time to be worried. He just needed to survive. Now that he was in war, a bubble of nerves in his chest had steadily grown and grown, until finally David was pushed up against a crumbling building, unable to move. He could've died. David resisted the urge to heave up his breakfast at the thought.

The next several hours were a blur. David managed to mesh in with the other busy soldiers. He packed his footlocker and cleaned his gun. He made small talk with the other boys and dutifully ran drills to keep them ready to fight. But David still felt like he couldn't breathe.

"So we will ship out for the Ardennes forest immediately," Nix's voice boomed out at the intelligence meeting that night. "It will be cold, so scrounge as many socks as you can find," A wink at Skip Muck. "We are to hold the Belgian front." There was a tension in the room. Easy Company was low on soldiers and even lower on morale. David felt his face flush and his heart shoot up to his throat. Foolishly he had hoped they would be sent back to England to regroup. They were in the dog days of the war, and there would be no stopping. The rest of the men trudged back to their cots to pack and then get as many hours of sleep they could.

"Web, stay here a minute." Lew called out. There was just David left in the tent. His stomach roiled. Getting yelled at for blacking out was not what an ideal situation, but as David sat back down he noticed Lew's eyes were soft and kind.

"Yes, Captain?" David's hands twitched nervously. Lew sat down across from him and lit a cigarette. The puff of smoke distorted his view of Lew's face.

"I'm gonna be frank with you," David tensed. "Dick talked to me about yesterday," Nix rolled his eyes. "Well, Liebgott talked to Dick about yesterday, and he had talked to Roe about yesterday, and there's no doubt Roe talked to Heffron about yesterday. But anyways, pretty much everyone knows about your incident by now."

"Is this supposed to make me feel better sir?" David grew red. "Now that everyone knows about my breakdown?"

"Yeah, Web." Nix said it like it was an obvious thing. David squinted at him and wondered if Lew was screwing with him. "Look, not to get too personal, but we both come from the same kind of family. The kind that isn't there." Lew's eyes were blank.

A flash of worry. "Sir?"

"Don't act like you don't know. We had money, sure, but you ever get on the wrong side of your parents?" Lew's mind was far away, Web could tell, back to New York City, back to his angry father.

"Yes, sir." Web thought about his parents. They were glamorous, parading from galas and parties, while David ran around the streets of New York with one nanny after the other. On rare days the family was together, David was yelled at for having a loose tie, for accidentally spilling milk at breakfast. When David had reached adolescence he was shipped to a boarding school. He dreaded parent's day, where his father would tightly hold onto David's shoulder, digging his nails into the skin to make him stand up straight. If he got a bad grade they wouldn't send letters to him for a month.

"It's wrong. The way they made you question everything you did." Nix's eyes were cast down. "But this isn't New York, sadly." A slight smile. "And we'll be there for you. You're a good soldier," Nix looked sincere. "We won't let you go."

Everything in the room was still and quiet. David chewed on his lip. He thought about Joe leading him away from the rubble of Nuenen; the soft hands around his face, the compassion in his eyes. His heart swelled with affection. "Thank you, sir." David meant it. He and Nix sat there for several more minutes, Lew smoking and David peering off into the distance, his mind on Joe. It was comfortable to sit with his Captain. They had a lot of shared experiences it turned out. He didn't want to get into them tonight, so instead they sat together in silence.

"There you are." Dick's fond voice came from the door, his blue eyes on Lew. There was a quiet intimacy in Dick's voice, something that David only heard when he was addressing Lew.

"Just reminiscing about days in the Big Apple with Web here." Dick looked dubiously at them. He put his hand on Lew's shoulder, rubbing it softly.

"You okay Web?" David nodded, and he took a rare easy breath in. Dick's mouth twitched into a rare smile. "Good," David stood up to leave. "I think Lieb is looking for you. But don't tell him I told you." Now there were smiles from both Dick and Lew. A warm blush crept up David's face. He paused at the door.

"Go on get out of here, ya crazy kid." Dick playfully hit Lew on the head for that remark.

"Hey Lieb." David found Joe on patrol at the far edge of camp. Joe had his helmet on, a cigarette dangling out of his mouth. He stopped dead in his tracks when he heard David's voice.

"Web? You should be sleeping." Joe didn't look mad, just concerned. There seemed to be a huge gap between them, filled with unspoken words and feelings. David moved closer to Joe.

"Thank you for talking to Roe," David forced the words out. "And Dick."

"What did they say?" Joe rushed out. He took a step towards David, his hand outreached.

"Nothing much, just that they're gonna look out for me," David cringed a little bit. "I will try not to black out anymore, though."

"We're all going to watch out for you." Joe's voice was quiet, but it had an edge to it. David looked at Joe's dark eyes, a contrast with David's own. He still looked dead tired, but he carried himself well.

"You'll look out for me?" David's voice was a whisper in the Dutch wind. David knew what he was doing.

"Of course, Web, what are friends for?" Joe had gotten distinctly timid, rolling his shoulders down and looking away. The air was thick with something other than friendship. "David," Anything Joe was trying to say was cut off by David's mouth. Before he lost his nerve, David had closed the gap between them, kissing him chastely. "Oh." Joe said once David had stepped back.

"Oh?" David looked worried, as if he had made a terrible mistake. He started to step backwards.

"No, no, I just meant," Joe pulled David closer. "I was surprised, is all." Joe smiled then, a rare smile that reminded David of the smiles Dick gave Lew.

"A good surprised?"

"Yeah." Joe leaned up and kissed him again, gently putting his arm around David's waist. David curled his arms around Joe's neck, kissing him deeper. It was like a weight had been lifted from his chest. Although his heart banged wildly against his ribs, he felt grounded to the Earth.

They stayed wrapped around each other as long as they dared out in the open. Joe gently pushed David back, running his hands down Web's back lovingly.

"You're going to be okay." Joe put his hands up to David's face, fingers caressing David's stubbly cheeks, running the edge of his jaw.

Despite everything, David still felt a pang of worry. "Are you sure?"

"Wir sind zusammen," _We are together._ "Ich bin mir sicher." _I am sure._ David took a deep breath and repeated the German in his head.

"Thank you." David rested his head against Joe's.

"Now go get some sleep, okay?" David nodded, and parted from him reluctantly. David took big strides back to his cot, breathing deeply and calmly.


End file.
